Catfight Classic Ends In Scoring Dispute; Championship Permanently Postponed
Hobart Bobcats and Symmes Point Cougars To “Just Try Again Next Year,” Officials Say
HOBART, OHIO – What should have been the decisive Catfight Classic between Hobart High and the Symmes Point Cougars ended in confusion, debate, and an eventual vow to “start over next year,” after game officials admitted they “never actually determined the score.”
The dispute began midway through the fourth quarter when the scoreboard briefly reset itself to “00-00,” allegedly after a marching band tuba made incidental contact with an extension cord powering half the stadium.
While staff attempted to reassemble the score from handwritten notes, a second complication arose when one of the chain crew members revealed he had mistakenly recorded “yard vibes” rather than distances.
Attempts to reconstruct the score through fan recollection were equally unsuccessful.
One Cougars fan insisted the game was tied.
Another believed Hobart led by three.
A third claimed the Cougars had already won and “we’re all wasting precious time.”
One Hobart resident confidently reported a score “in the low hundreds.”
After 90 minutes of debate, both schools issued a joint declaration:
“We simply do not know who won. It is too late to play again this year. The Championship shall be postponed indefinitely, and both programs agree to re-attempt the Classic next season, assuming the scoreboard is nailed down this time.”
The Ohio Valley Athletic Council responded by canceling the Championship outright, citing “calendar exhaustion” and “the very bad optics of scheduling a state title game whose competitors do not know whether they qualified.”
No trophy will be awarded this year, though Village Hall announced plans to display “a tasteful plaque acknowledging the concept of competition.”
I was there. I saw the scoreboard. It said 44 to 44 and then someone kicked the power strip. This ain’t complicated.
Dale, you were watching the PAL-TV livestream on your phone at the concession stand.
I don’t need “angles” Marvin, I got eyes.
If they would use a PROPER referee instead of that boy from Leadville who can’t count to ten without his fingers, maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess.
He’s student teaching, Lorraine, be nice.
Then maybe he should study math before football.
THE LIGHTS
FLICKERED AT 8:47
EXACTLY THE SAME TIME AS THE HUM
THEY ARE HIDING THE REAL SCORE
It’s always the hum with you, Hollis.
WHEN THE HUM SPEAKS
WE LISTEN
Everyone needs to calm down. The boys played their hearts out. Maybe next year both towns can share the trophy.
share it? thats not how sports works birdie…
Then make two trophies.
We don’t even have ONE, Birdie, the old one got melted in the 2019 grill fire.
Scoreboards are OPINIONS. Destiny is permanent.
Coach, are you okay?
NO POINTS WERE LOST. ONLY DELAYED.
If people had supported my halftime raffle, we’d have had funds for a backup scoreboard.
Nadine, nobody wants your raffle right now, it’s not even Little League season, and what does it have to do with the High School football scoreboard?
That’s why you don’t have closure.
THE SCORE WAS 66-6 IF YOU READ THE CLOUDS
I believe we can heal this with a joint band concert. I can donate wind chimes for ambience.
For the love of god, Alma, no more wind chimes PLEASE.
Healing takes tone, Lorraine.
For the record, the power blip at the 3rd quarter was due to an overtaxed popcorn machine, and NOT any interference from the substation.
That’s exactly what someone running the substation would say.
Because it’s literally my job.
Half of Symmes Point needs mouthgaurds anyway. I’ve seen their molars.
Marsha, this isn’t the place.
If you saw their enamel, you’d agree.
I don’t care who won, I just want my mailbox fixed before Christmas. The band bus clipped it again.
Brenda, not everything is about your mailbox.
We are reviewing the final minutes of the game. Please note our camera feed was briefly replaced by Wildlife Cam 2. That was not intentional.
EXACTLY
THE HUM INTERRUPTED
No, Hollis. It was raccoons. Again.
If you overlay the footage with the blueprints from the feasibility study, the yard lines align with the coordinates from Page 47.
Russell, are you implying that the roundabout is the trophy?
What i’m saying, is that truth is circular
Utilities was not informed about the use of extension cords on the field. We’d like to formally deny responsibility for “the spark event.”
What spark event?
Exactly.
I think I know who you are, and if it is who I think it is, expect a call to my office tomorrow morning.